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The Lady Earth and Me

She's pissed with us - and I'm going to tell you why

Some time in 2008 I started getting the restless upset-stomach feeling of a book-download on its way.

When I say that, I mean a book arriving complete and usually all at once, where I just take the words down like a harassed secretary, as if somebody is dictating to me just beyond my hearing.

While it’s happening, I feel excited and weird and can’t think about anything else. I can write for hours. During a previous download event in 2000, a doctor friend of mine rang me while I was writing. I talked to her for about 20 minutes, gabbling about all kinds of things, flooded with ideas I couldn’t even keep up with. When I finally shut up, there was a pause and then she said, “I’d love to know what your cortisol levels are doing right now!”

Or, as my daughter said when somebody patronisingly asked her if she liked having a mummy who was a writer: “Dunno. Depends if you like having a mum who’s writing all the time, who finally comes out with eyes like boiled eggs in tomato sauce and slams a plate of baked beans on toast down in front of you for the fifth time that week.”

However, this download came in bits and pieces over several years, interspersed with a great deal of external stuff and writing books. I always felt a bit embarrassed by it, to tell the truth. Finally, I typed it up and found I had written something called “Arguments with Our Lady Gaia.” (I published it coyly under the pen name Rose Wagner.)

It looked crazy. What the hell was this? A dialogue with somebody describing herself as the Earth Organism? An eco-rant? WTF?

Now it’s true that I’ve read all of James Lovelock’s books about the Gaia Hypothesis and have always thrilled to the idea that there really might be something like a living Mother Goddess.

Many of the gods in my books are female: the Queen Moon, my Lady Leopard and the mysterious narrator of “Unicorn’s Blood.”

However Lovelock’s brilliant hypothesis doesn’t include the idea that the Earth Organism is conscious or that she has a purpose or that this purpose could be riding precariously on us humans.

But I believe that she is conscious and her consciousness comes through us. After all, the Lady Earth is mainly bacterial or smaller and the fact is that every human carries a couple of kilos of assorted bacteria, fungi, viruses and prions in their body as their microbiome. We are literally in her and she is in us.

I believe that the Lady Earth has plans for us and if we don’t comply we’ll be terminated. She has tolerated our messy greedy ways for a reason but if we don’t do what she wants, she will simply wipe us out, reabsorb us and start again in a couple of million years, probably with the rats.

That’s what she’s saying anyway. She emphasises that she’s not sentimental about species.

Now I am deeply suspicious of the whole idea of “channelling” (see the scare quotes?) Yet I have to admit that that’s what a download amounts to, if you take it seriously and don’t decide arbitrarily that it’s just wonky brain chemistry.

Of course, if I was talking to somebody else who claimed to be channelling Lovelock’s Earth Organism, that’s exactly what I’d tell them: wonky brain chemistry, take some anti-psychotics.

And that would be dealing just with the channelling thing, never mind what the Lady Earth is actually saying through me.

Three intelligent species producing technical civilizations before this one? One with giant insects? One with power-hungry proto-mammals? One with dinosaurs, the Rainbow People?

And us, her experiment with primate mammals. So far we’re not nearly as successful as the therapod dinosaurs with impressive feathers who had a star empire…

My rational mind revolts at this. Oh come on, I say, evidence? Is it even possible for dinos to be intelligent? Well, responds the bit next to the channelling receiver, it’s not impossible: crows are smart tool-users, birds have tightly packed neurons in a different and probably better architecture than us; some dinos had hands and they communicated through their crests in sound and through colours and patterns on their throat-sacks…

Aaargh! says my rational mind and runs around in circles.

So I’m done with trying to rationalise or find sense in what I channelled all those years ago or what I’ll channel in the future.

Here it is. You can imagine Our Lady Earth is speaking to us or you can take it as a superclever fictional allegory.

By the way, I’m planning to change the title to “Arguments with Our Lady Earth” because I don’t want to get this confused with a perfectly respectable and reasonable scientific hypothesis which is still being tested by experiment and argued about. Whatever is coming out of my unconscious/interstellar space/the Lady Earth Herself is not very respectable.

Also whenever I googled “Lady Gaia” my laptop self-corrected it to “Lady Gaga.”

Two things are clear. Firstly, we have been allowed to build a technical civilization so that we can go into space, travel to other planets and take the Lady with us.

No, sorry, humans aren’t the crown of creation. We are the Lady Earth’s reproductive tract.

Secondly, the Earth Organism, Our Lady Earth is pissed with us.



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