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Random predictions for 2012

Unfortunately, I didn\’t have a chimp and a dartboard, but I thought I\’d make some predictions for 2012 anyway. I used a much more traditional system which I will reveal in its full glory next December when all these predictions will have been proven correct.
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1. How will the global economy do in 2012?
It will continue to struggle along wearily, with dishonest financiers and self-deluding investors learning nothing from the past, and the idiots at the top continuing to swipe money from their shareholders and employees, because they can. There will be delays in business projects and no real effective help for anybody in the 99%.

2. What about the British economy?
It will be rattling out of control with too many very rapid internal changes and being pulled between the Eurozone and the Dollar. Cameron will be in trouble and George Osborne will lose his position because of some very unwelcome news about the economy.

3. Will Barack Obama win the Presidential election?
He\’ll seem trapped and confused at first, showing weakly, but the financial problems will ease at the end of the year and he\’ll end with a comfortable win that will make him more secure.

4. Will the Eurozone recover or fall apart?
It will be wobbling back and forth to begin with and a new financial leader might appear, promising to sort it all out. However really it\’s time to cut losses and get out – though the real smash won\’t happen this year.

5. So what\’s the best investment?
Who knows? Something totally unexpected – contrarian investing will do best. Internet shares are a good bet with some exciting new concepts coming to market, but avoid media shares.

6. Global politics? Natural disasters? Celebs?
Jan – celebrations and important positive news from the Middle East
Feb – problems with debt cause wobbles in the Eurozone
Mar – self-delusion and a sweetheart deal between France and Germany
April – over considerable opposition, a solution will be cobbled together, but there\’s no fundamental change because everyone is too stuck in old habits. Possible flu epidemic.
May – plenty of new enterprises will be springing up, but an old con artist will be in big trouble – Berlusconi perhaps?
June – more problems in the money markets due to debt and insufficient confidence – recession threatens to turn into depression again.
July – it\’s a losing battle against sovereign debt; one nation finds a solution, cuts its losses and gets out of the Euro.
Aug – some very important revelations affect the Queen\’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations.
Sept – Yet more indecision and general stasis, however an ambitious young man gets his chance.
Oct – a new beginning in the financial world, and some difficult choices need to be made.
Nov – downfall of a major ruler, probably Putin in Russia, due to treachery.
Dec – everything is great at the end of the year and there\’s a new intellectual beginning with a stunning scientific discovery based on observations of a star or black hole originally made in March.

7. Will there be a terrorist strike in the UK.
A plot will be discovered aimed at the Diamond Jubilee celebrations which will be a bit muted as a result.

8. Will the world end on 21/12/2012
Probably not. Except perhaps in a neatly metaphorical way that will make it possible for all the prophets of doom to claim they were right all along.

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