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Mrs Angry No More

Last night my Computer Said No. No, it didn\’t intend to let me edit an article I\’m writing – for some reason the Word file wouldn\’t open properly. No, it certainly wasn\’t going to allow me to go on line. No, it wasn\’t going to allow any kind of troubleshooting and no, it wasn\’t going to let me find out why it suddenly denied the existence of our wifi broadband. My #2 son was upstairs happily logged on, my lovely new lodgers were happily logged on, but according to my computer, the thing was Horrid and Yucky and Not Available.
***
It wanted me to Reset. This is what it always wants. There\’s no point in doing it because it makes no difference when the computer\’s in a mood like this. It\’s the same as a tantruming toddler shrieking \”Wanna wanna SWEETIE!\” Giving the child a sweetie will not stop the tantrum, but only put it on pause for the thirty seconds baba takes to eat the sweetie. After which it\’s 150 decibel business as usual.
***
And I remained calm. I did not go into Techno-triggered Meltdownitis. I did not swear at it, scream at it, cry or bang my head against any walls.
***
I\’ve always been quite good at dealing with toddler tantrums, which I actually find quite funny. This is partly because I vividly remember a tantrum I threw when I was about 3 years old: my mum put me in a pair of (then fashionable) tartan trews which I absolutely hated because they made my legs itchy. Unfortunately I didn\’t have the words to explain this and I still remember my whole little body feeling like it was going to explode with boiling fury and frustration as I threw myself on the bed and the floor and screamed and shrieked \”NO NO.\” I don\’t remember what happened next. I expect I survived the itchy legs.
***
So if the real thing doesn\’t faze me too much, why did I get so hysterical with my computer the last time It Said No.
***
I suddenly realised a few days afterwards that I was reacting as if the bloody computer was the stupid frustrating abitrary adult that was insisting on making me wear tartan trews and as if I was the three year old who couldn\’t explain – which is indeed how I feel when faced with the usual computerese you get in these situations.
***
Which is dumb. I\’m the adult. The computer is the toddler (only not as intelligent as most toddlers).
***
Enlightenment, even if embarassing because really I should have known that, is a wonderful thing. Yesterday when the Computer Said No, I switched it off and went to bed.

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