I stand up at Flushing Sailing Club!

I\’ve just come back from talking to Flushing Sailing Club about my books – mainly the Carey novels. Here\’s a picture of some of the audience, after a few pints.




All right – quite a few had already left by the time I remembered to get a picture and they\’d had a good laugh, believe me.





Yes, I do it wearing my lovely purple corset. And?


(This is a picture of me doing my talk. I don\’t think I normally look this hideous. Honest.) It makes sense when you know what my poetry is like – buy \”The Poetry Diet\” to find out.

Actually they were all really friendly and asked some highly expert questions about Elizabethans, the Borders and chocoholism.

I personally blame the fact that I\’ve been writing the latest Sir Robert Carey book (no title yet) and am eating industrial quantities of chocolate and patisserie.



Bring a Bottle and a Poem – an evening on the river with King Harry Ferry

Well that was fun – an evening on the Fal River with King Harry Ferry Co, taking advantage of the extra-high tide today, going up all the little creeks that are usually too shallow in the Enterprise II. (Be still my throbbing heart, the Enterprise I wanted to go on as a teenager was a little bit different).
One thing about the Fal River – it knows nothing about restraint. It is gobsmackingly, vulgarly beautiful. Every turn, every inlet – Nature going, yeah, look at this! Ya think that\’s good, what about THIS?
Plus poetry in aid of the Invictus Trust. Of course, I was only there to read selections from \”The Poetry Diet\” and tell people about the poetry workshops I\’m running at Truro Library this Friday 8th June 2012. (See below)
There was great singing, some heartbreaking poetry from a nurse who\’s served in Afghanistan and Bert Biscoe, constant thorn in the rump of Cornwall Council, on top form. Plus Tim Light had clearly collared some highly expert Druids and organised a lovely dry evening for us.
He\’s planning to do it again soon. I\’d be even more excited if I\’d managed to finish the whole bottle of wine I brought. Don\’t worry. I\’ll be there.
This is the program for Poetry Day at Truro Community Library:
10.30 – 12.00 Children\’s workshop – \”Down with Mushy Poems!\”
How to write poems that scan with drumming and shouting.
12.15 Me reading from \”The Poetry Diet\” which will also be available to buy.
2.00 – 4.00 pm \”BOSS – how to perform your deathless verse\”
Poetry performance workshop for adults – with more drumming and shouting plus a mass rendition of Jabberwocky.
4.15 – 5.00 pm – POETRY SLAM – come and cheer for your favourite poetry performance.
Prizes: general prize sponsored by King Harry Ferry: a day out for two on the Fal River plus lunch at the Smuggler\’s Cottage;Special student prize: lots of beer from Skinner\’s Brewery.

Tune in to hear me on BBC Radio Cornwall, Friday 30th March at 4.15 pm (British time)

I love doing radio interviews – what\’s not to love? You don\’t have to dress up or put on make up, it doesn\’t matter if you have a spot on your nose, there\’s no camera to add the traditional fifteen pounds and you can talk to interesting people. It\’s all very relaxing.

Tiffany Truscott will be interviewing me tomorrow about The Poetry Diet on the BBC Radio Cornwall afternoon programme – I hope I\’ll have time to read a poem or a recipe and get you dribbling at my descriptions of chocolate and then laughing at the whole daft situation. And that\’s just one of the recipes…

Yes! The Poetry Diet is the only known poetry book with added recipes!
Buy your copy right here.

The Poetry Diet  – £5.99 plus postage and packing of £2.00

So THAT\’s what I should have been doing all this time…

I did a poetry reading and gig at Waterstones in Truro tonight – it was a blast. Slightly a blast from the past as I was cavorting in my amazing purple corset, but everyone ate my chocolate truffles (damn fine, though I sez it myself), drank some wine kindly provided by Waterstones and then sat and listened to my poetry and discursions on…
Actually I\’m not sure what. I do remember censoring the bit about when I was having my first baby and then explaining how to make your daughter\’s eighth birthday sleepover go really well for all the little girls in her class. It involves meticulous doses of Haribo sweeties and ice cream with chocolate sauce for breakfast, the recipe for which is in \”The Poetry Diet\” (published by Thingley Press).
I love making people laugh and I love doing it even more when it\’s deliberate and part of selling books, rather than inadvertent because I\’ve said something idiotic again. I am, after all, the woman who caused the whole of the village shop to fall about laughing when I spotted an unexpected tenner in my purse and said loudly, \”Oh look, there\’s some money, better spend it quick before it all goes away!\”


I must go down to the kitchen again,

To the lonely stove and the fridge;

And all I\’ll eat is a slice of toast.

Or maybe a rasher or two…


A couple of eggs, a tin of beans,

A Cornish sausage or three,

And mushrooms, tomatoes, black pudding, fried bread

And bubble-n-squeak from last night.


We need coffee and tea and freshly-squeezed juice,

(Vodka to pep up the juice)

I want ketchup, HP and Worcestershire sauce,

Marmelade and… oh yes. The toast.


Shall I wake up the others or eat it myself?

No. Today they can all lie in.


A triumph of group poetry, I feel – we had a great time at the Poetry of Food evening on Friday. Many thanks to all who turned up, ate cake and made it such fun.